Odd things English people say  🤔

I don't know if there's anybody out there reading this, but if you exist, I'd love to hear your contributions.

Actually, I've just made my own contribution in that sentence, sort of.  Why do we say "I'd love to HEAR from you", not "I'd love to READ from you"?  Because that's what I'd like to do, read your contributions, not listen to them.

The kind of thing I had in mind when setting out to write this is...  largely alluding me, as things do when you try to pluck examples of something out of your mind!

But here's an old one.  Why do we say "That takes the biscuit" when we're a bit shocked about something?

Or talk about people going "Like a rat up a drainpipe"?  Do rats run up drainpipes much?  How many people can see the rat running upwards inside a drainpipe?  Do they have x-ray vision?

And now my ideas of strange expression have dried up.  Which is true in the accepted meaning of the phrase, but does water in my brain literally evaporate?

And that reminds me of another thing we say.  How we use the word "literally" when we don't mean it literally.  For example, someone says "I have literally just got off the phone to him".  How many people say that when they have been literally standing, sitting, crouching, balancing, lying, dancing (other verbs are available) on a phone?  Not many would be my guess.  They probably would be muffling the sound of the other persons voice anyway.

A lot of our strange English expressions can be tracked down to some sort of logical beginning.  Like someone or something "bites the dust".  You can imagine someone falling down dead, their face hitting a dusty mud surface; not literally biting the dust, but there's a certain sense there.

What about "He's wears his heart on his sleeve"?  That one's a bit gruesome to visualise, but why on a sleeve?  Maybe it originates from having stripes on your sleeve to indicate your rank in the army or the police.  Maybe.  But why not on your collar, or your lapel?  We often have badges or buttons there to signify something.  Or on your upper chest on one side, like a logo on a shirt.  That would be suitable, wouldn't it?  "He wore his heart on the outside".

And thinking of bits of clothing, why do we say "I'll eat my hat" when we're expressing certainty that something won't happen?  What about, "If that doesn't upset him I'll eat my bra"?  Might be easier than a hat.  Or "I'll eat my coat"?  That would show even more certainty.  Eating your coat is probably one of the hardest bits of clothing to eat.  Imagine it.  That would be going "the whole nine yards" wouldn't it!

I'm not doing very well here, am I?  Come on, don't beat about the bush, admit it, I can't think of enough daft expressions.

I don't expect you're thinking I'm the bees knees at the moment.  Why bees knees?  I'm sure they have joints in their legs like most insects, by what's so special about bees knees?  And why are knees supposed to signify something important anyway?  What do you think would be better?  "I feel like I'm the cat's tail when I do well"?

Ooh, I've got another one.  Why are people said to be "bone idle"?  Is it because a bone is an inanimate object and can do nothing of its own volition?  Most of the planet we live on could be said to be lazy.  I mean, I know there's all that molten stuff below the earth's crust, and volcanoes spew out lava, but not because they're putting in an effort.  We could say "As idle as a rock".  But then what's that about a rolling stone (well, it's more or less a rock) gathers no moss.  Does that mean when a rock bothers to roll, when a rock isn't bone idle, it's still no use?  And why do we call a certain genre of music "Rock"?

Have you ever had a "Chip on your shoulder"?  Or a "Bee in your bonnet"?  The last one I can see how it might have come about - it's to do with something in your mind, in your head, under a bonnet if you're wearing one.  But imagine if someone chipped a bit out of your shoulder.  That would be bloody painful, wouldn't it?  Of course, it could be a potato chip on your shoulder, but that's just bizarre.  Imagine walking around balancing a chip on your shoulder for all to see.  People avoiding you because they know something's irritating you.  "There she goes.  I'd keep out of her way if I were you.  She's got a chip on her shoulder."  In my mind's eye, that is hilarious!

Well, I hope these words find you "Fit as a fiddle".  I have no idea why a fiddle should be considered fit, have you?

TTFN  (Look it up, youngster!)